Hello. I sincerely hope your weekend is treating you better than mine is treating me. I have been promising to introduce to some of the mad and very special people I call my friends, and today is your lucky day. We spent a very interesting evening together last night and I thought it would be the perfect platform to let you take a peek at what my friends are like.

MS and UP have their birthdays 2 weeks apart, so it was decided that on the 7th June we would all go to a rather lush restaurant called Cape To Cuba. Its a great little place where everything you see is for sale and the food is great and the drinks are better. The company was pretty good too! Some of the people in our gathering last night included ITG, who is MS’s colleague, SD who is the best guy friend a girl could wish for, LF who is our lawyer friend (‘cos you always have to have one of those!) and UP who is a prude of note but so very very very funny!

MS and I go way back. We met at college, both studying a course in PC Engineering. We were top students in our classes and got away with pretty much everything. We’re also both very tough, hard arsed women and we get what we want when we want it. Where I bring the emotional, think with your heart side to our friendship, MS brings the cold hard logic. We have always said that this is what makes our friendship work. We compliment each other so well. And then of course there’s the fact that when one of us gets a hair-brained idea and can’t see the wood for the trees, the other one is usually standing beside her friend, saying “This is a BAD idea and here’s why.” Our friendship is full of honesty and we’re not afraid to tell each other exactly what we think. We also not afraid to say “I told you so” when a brilliant plan fails colossally. Many of the friends we have have never seen the two of us in action when we’re out… And so last night I think we may have intimidated a lot of people. We were both on top form and the comments coming out of our mouths rendered many people speechless on numerous occasions.

There was the shooter line-up, starring MS and me (this is following on a tradition from college where every round of drinks was accompanied by 5 shooters all containing tequila with the last one being a Flaming Lamborghini). Last night we decided to tone it down a bit, as we’re older now and probably notable to handle the college-style abuse to our livers and other vital organs anymore, so we started with a Blowjob, then a B52, a Suitcase, a Springbok and ending with a tequila, straight. Every single person around that table thought that that was going to be the end of us for the evening and that either we would be sick, or we were simply going to pass out. Neither of the above happened. In fact all the alcohol successfully managed to do was sharpen our tongues a little more, and numb our “do I care” meters a little further.

Then of course there was my challenge for the evening. MS has been talking about the hats that the waiters at CTC wear and she told me she wanted someone around the table to buy her a hat for her birthday. In all my confidence I told her not to worry. That I would unashamedly flirt my way into the waiter taking his hat off for her. And I succeeded! By the end of the evening MS was going home with a hand crafted Cuban hat, GRATIS!

Then there was the independent opinion poll that I ran with the male members of our party in a bid to establish what the honest opinion is amongst men when it comes to pubic hair on a woman. The boys unanimously voted for the clean shaven woman. This of course led to much heated debate between the girls and the guys about why women should have to go through all the pain and suffering of regular Brazilian waxes when guys don’t feel that they need to get rid of their fluff. The grand conclusion to this one was that if any of them ever wanted oral sex again, they need to clean up!

This wonderful conversation led into the “To Spit or Swallow” debate, and again much heat was being distributed around the table (but that may have been the shooters! :-) ) I won’t go into this one too much, other than LH and I agreeing, and informing the other ladies of our party that if you aim his penis at the top of your mouth, and knock it back like we had knocked down the shots, you aren’t going to taste anything and you’re going to have a happy man. The other girls weren’t convinced but the guys were speechless. They didn’t know how to handle this little titbit of information. Should they be clambering over themselves for our attention, or should they just run away?

Many fantastic debates and conversations were had last night, and we certainly enjoyed the experience! Pity though that we came home sans any specimens of the male species to practice some of the many conversation points on, but hey, life goes on. I realised when we got home that I had come home sans cellphone too, and then the cold realisation hit me that someone had removed my phone from the table while I was settling our bill. Great. Not only were there still people sitting at our table, but we were the only people left in the restaurant aside from 2 or 3 waiters.

I am so furious. That such a wonderful evening could be overshadowed so sadly by an incident such as this. And its not like I was being particularly careless with my stuff either. MS left her R3000 Chanel handbag in plain site of everyone and she still has all her belongings. I think it is truly reflective of the society you live in when you dine out with a group of friends at a pricey establishment (our bill came to R2740.45 – That works out to a price per head of around R450), and still you are in a situation where your personal items can disappear so quickly. And like I said the restaurant wasn’t busy. We were the only people left when the incident happened, and there were still members of our party sitting at the table. My phone was lifted right under their noses.

I only realised what had happened when we got home and then it was too late. I am going to end this report of my evening here, and am going to continue with another very interesting aspect of the evening and give you more on my friendship with SD later, as it lends another aspect to the evening that is pivotal to my story. Till later…

TBC…